Tuesday, February 28, 2012

My Happy List

Mamarazzi's from Our Dandelion Wishes hosts 'My Happy List' every Tuesday

My Happy List :)
This week Im happy I'm pain free, after being in absolute agony with impacted and infected Wisdom teeth last week ouch! Im happy I'm able to open my mouth to eat food, happy I can chew said food with all my teeth and happy I can talk without having shooting back going through my teeth and into my jaw. I cant express how happy I am that Im finally going to get my front tooth also fixed when my wisdom teeth are removed. It has really affected my life and overall self confidence and I feel it's time I do something about it. Im not sure I'll ever have the same pearly white smile I had before the accident but Im happy that I've made the first step to doing something about it. Certainly something to smile about :)

Im happy we have so many wonderful new volunteers coming on board to help with Yasminah's Gift Of Hope. It allows me and the other committee members and volunteers to spend more time with our families and not feel so overwhelmed with our intense workload. This makes me sooo incredible happy!!! It's also heartwarming to know that somewhere Yasminah is happy and hopefully proud of all the work we do in her memory.

Zach is really loving preschool and so are his younger sisters Aisha and Aaliyah. Zach is going 4 days a week and Aisha and Aaliyah go 2 days a week. It makes me so happy to see them developing their social, language, gross motor skills and reaching more milestones. They actually run away from us when we go to pick them up!


Saturday, February 25, 2012

The Power of Love

There are days when it can all get too much.

Days you just want to throw your hands up in the air!

But a great BIG squishy hug! (excuse the picture quality)

A cheeky grin from the ones you ~ LOVE ~

Can be all you need to make it through the day
~ That is the Power of Love ~

Monday, February 13, 2012


Everyone needs a bit of tender loving care and after the last couple of weeks I've had, I know I definetely need to give myself a bit of TLC.

Breast cancer affects women of all ages, so being breast aware should be very important to all women, including young women. Regular self-examination is an important part of your health checks.

Last week at the age of 31 I had a breast ultrascan done after discovering a change in my breasts. Most changes in the breast are not related to breast cancer, however my Doctor felt that my changes warranted further investigation. Thankfully I was given the all clear after returning the scan results to my Doctor, but not before a million and one thoughts running through my head about the 'what if's'.

Please be breast aware, if you know how your breasts normally look and feel you should be easily able to notice any changes to the shape and appearance of your breasts and nipples.

And here is a little something to make you rethink your breasts and give yourself some TLC ;-)

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Vanilla Kisses

I miss her today. I miss her so much that today I cant hide the pain. I have let the tears flow. I wish I could hold her and kiss her just one more time. Just one more kiss. One more touch.

Recently I heard someone explain the pain after losing a child like a contraction during labour. You know it's going to come and it hits you of out nowhere. You can't stop it from coming. You can only hope that it is over quickly. That the pain will subside. That you will have someone beside you to hold your hand and tell you it's going to be OK. That you will have time to prepare for the next contraction to hit. The rise and fall of emotions. The intensity of the pain to lessen. You can't do anything to stop the pain. You can only learn ways to manage it and learn to live with it.

I feel like Im right in the middle of one. It has come from nowhere. I cant function. I dont want to do anything. I just want to be. Be still. I just want to let the world go by and sit and dream of a time when she kicked in my belly when her big brother would wrap his little arms around me. The moments I held her close after she was born. When I kissed her nose. When I whispered in her ear.

I just miss her. I really miss her.

Ive learned to realize that this is grief. This isnt depression. Im not depressed. Im just a mum who misses her child and is grieving. This is grief.

We released our very special lip balms today that will be added to each of our Gift Of Hope Support Packs. It is something sacred to my memories and time with Yasminah. During Yasminah's labour I got very dry cracked lips. I still have the tube of lip balm given to me by my midwife that I used on my own lips. I applied it over and over again in an effort to soothe the visible cracks that were showing the pain I was feeling on the inside. One thing I always wanted to include in our Gift Of Hope Packs was lib balm - the very first few did include them but we now have our very own YGOH Lip Balm that will be included in every GOHP. I hope a simple little gesture can soothe their lips to give gentle kisses to their beautiful babies and the vanilla scent will make them think of the time they kissed an angel.