Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Dear Yasminah

To my dear daughter Yasminah,

Today I feel your love all around me. The heavens are even sending their love to earth. It has been pouring with rain for 2 whole days. You know how much I love the rain as it always reminds me of you. It was raining when you were born and when your service begun the day we said goodbye. I like to think its your way of letting me know that you are proud of everything I do in your memory and you are showering us with your love. You always manage to bring a smile to my face, when just the mention of visiting you at the cemetery brings tears from the skies.

How I miss you and wish every day that we could have you here with us. I wonder what it would be like for Zach to have his special little baby butterfly. I watched him play with a child your age and they had so much fun! He talks about you and mentions you when he spots a butterfly. He is always getting me to open my locket with your photo, footprints and lock of your beautiful dark curly hair and he likes me to keep it open, he even gets angry with me if I close it. You are very much a part of our family even though you are not physically with us. We speak your name everyday. You will forever be his Minah.

Your little sisters Aisha and Aaliyah are an amazing gift of love and hope. I often think how they might not be here if we had not lost you. As much as I want you here I wouldn't change anything in my life as they are brought us sunshine, happiness and joy after so much heartache. It still pains me that Aisha and Aaliyah don't have their big sister here, but I am glad they have each other and thankful we had twins. Daddy always says that God took you away but gave us back two. Definitely double the love and joy. It is amazing we even conceived another baby after everything daddy and I have been through, let alone twins! They are our miracle. Thank you beautiful girl for watching over your sisters and keeping them safe despite their early entrance to the world.

I knew right from the start that you were special, but I never knew how much you would change my life and make me grow as a person. I wonder what it is like in heaven. I believe in it, I have to, I have to believe that there is a place where you are happy and that we did not lose you, that we will meet again......one day

Yasminah I love you, always and forever mummy x x x x x x

Monday, May 30, 2011

Journals For June

Journals For June
Yasminah's Gift Of Hope Journals are donated to Maternity and NICU wards in public and private hospitals around Australia for families who experience miscarriage, premature birth, neonatal loss, stillbirth, infant loss or the diagnosis of a congenital abnormality during pregnancy. On average every hospital we support around Australia needs 30 journals a month.


Either donate a journal or donate $1 for YGOH to purchase a journal in June

*Journals can be blank or lined inside, spiral or case bound
*You can donate a journal you decorate OR send them to us plain and we will decorate them ready to donate to the hospitals

Yasminah's Gift Of Hope is endorsed by the Australian Tax Office as a Tax Deductible Gift Recipient. All donations over $2 are tax deductible.

Donations can be made by Visa, Mastercard, Bpay or Australia Post Billpay through the Everyday Hero website http://www.everydayhero.com.au/charity/view?charity=1382-

OR by Direct Bank Deposit
Yasminahs Gift Of Hope
BSB: 012556 Account Number: 905083525
Please ensure you send an email to fundraising@ygoh.org.au with your name, address and contact phone number so we can issue you with a tax receipt if donating by Direct Bank Deposit

Journals can be donated in memory of a child/ren. We place our very special Donated in Memory of Stickers to the back of each journal so the family who receive them know they are not alone. When sending the journal/s please ensure you include a note with the name/s and/or DOB of the child/ren you would like the journal donated on behalf of.

All journals can be posted to
Yasminahs Gift Of Hope
PO Box 17,
NSW 2160

We would appreciate you sharing this event with your blogger friends

With Hope, Light, Love and Happiness

Bec, Erin & YGOH Team

~Yasminah Ann 26.03.09~ ♥ ~Aiden Gary 21.12.10-22.12.10~


Gift Of Hope for Amelia Grace

A Gift Of Hope for Linda and Raymond

Amelia Grace McGowen was born the 14th August 2010

Sadly Amelia lost her fight for life on the 21st November 2010

As I write this Linda is currently 22 weeks pregnant with her Rainbow Baby a little boy Stig McGowen Due the 2nd October 2011

Wishing Linda and Raymond Hope, Light, Love and Happiness

Saturday, May 28, 2011

OMG I'm Pregnant!

We found out we were pregnant for the third time, 9 weeks after losing our second child, our first daughter Yasminah Ann. It was in my mind, a natural miracle. A gift of hope, born from love and great loss.

I still remember my husband looking at my belly and asking me If I could be pregnant. I immediately dismissed the suggestion replying that I was still 'just fat'. Placing my hands on my wobbly belly, staring at the marks permanently etched into my skin. Marks of love, honour and growth. A part of my body that once held so many dreams and nurtured two precious babies. The crushing weight of knowing I'd only ever get to hold one of my babies in my arms lived with me each time I saw my scarred body.

The doubt, fear and excitement set in. Could I be pregnant? Would this baby die too? What would people think? Yasminah just died! Are we ready to have another child? Who cares what they think! OMG we might be pregnant! There could be a baby growing inside me right this very moment.

Then I was late........So I did a test, but I was so busy that I didn't wait the three minutes for the lines to appear. I saw one faint line appear on the test and put it aside on the bathroom vanity and went on with the day. Perhaps it wasn't being too busy to stop, it was the fear that held me back from waiting any longer after seeing that one faint negative line appear. My body had failed me, it had failed my child only a few short months beforehand. How could I believe that anything positive could happen after the devastating loss of my one and only daughter.

How on earth could I be trusted to deliver another healthy, living, breathing child into this world? How could I be trusted with growing another child? How could I trust my body growing a new child? A million and one questions and doubts ran through my mind. There was this little glimmer of hope and I grasped it with both hands and held onto it tight! How beautiful would it be to have the opportunity to grow our family, to bring another child into this world, to give my son the sibling he so desperately wanted. To feel that moment of happiness when you hold your newborn child in your arms.

It wasn't until after lunch, cleaning the ensuite I realized the test was still sitting on the bathroom vanity. When I picked it up, holding it in my hands, I couldn't believe my eyes! There staring back at me were two pink lines!! Two pink lines. A positive pregnancy test. I was pregnant. Right in this moment there was a child growing inside my broken womb. A new child. We were going to have another child. I started shaking and crying and staring at these two pink lines that appeared on the test in my hands. Something to hope for.......


Thursday, May 26, 2011

Gift Of Hope for Princess Lilli

A Gift Of Hope for Rachael and her family

On the 15th June 2008, the Blaxell family were blessed with the birth of their sweet little girl Lilli Eileen Blaxell weighing 6 pds 11oz

Sadly on the 21st November 2008 Rachael awoke to find her daughter Lilli face down in her cot. After 2 autopsy reports it showed that Lilli was a perfectly healthy baby and her death was attributed to SIDS Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

Rachael honours her daughters memory by raising funds for SIDS and Kids
You can support her efforts by visiting

Wishing the Blaxell family Hope, Light, Love and Happiness

Monday, May 9, 2011

Thanks for the Inspiration

I get asked all the time, how I can do it? How do I give so much of myself to others and listen to stories of loss. I won't lie, it is often hard to surround myself with constant heartache. Learning that another family have had their hearts broken. Knowing exactly how they are feeling. Your heart feels heavy, you feel lost and out of control. It throws your world into complete chaos and despair. It can take me back to my own pain in an instant. I am right there beside them living the moment their world crashed down around them. I have cried a river of tears with and for many families. I can wear their shoes, I feel their pain, I know what it is like to lose a child or to have a child born premature being kept alive by machines fighting for their life!

But one word always give me encouragement to keep going, to keep giving, to keep fighting for awareness and support.


Every now and then I put up 'Inspirational Quotes' on the Facebook page as they bring me comfort and offer hope and inspiration in life. They are a shimmer of light in a dark world.

Mothers Day I received this beautiful email.

Just wanted to say thank you for helping inspire me how to remember our baby we lost through miscarriage today on Mothers Day. You had a lovely quote on your Facebook page a couple of months ago now, and I think at the time that I commented on it saying how it really struck a chord with me. Today I wrote that quote on a piece of paper and we placed a stone inside it and wrapped it with ribbon stood on the beachfront as a family (me, DH and our 2 year old daughter).

It was perfect, with the sun softly twinkling on the water we each held the small parcel, then my husband threw it into the water,right in front of the beachfront spot we often sit and have a picnic lunch. Today as Mothers Day would have been my due date for our 2nd baby, so our little ceremony was very important to me. Just wanted to say thanks again for the inspiration.

The quote was: "The soul would have no rainbow, had the eyes no tears".

Take care, Names removed for privacy

To know that I have helped make a small difference in one family's life, by giving them inspiration to acknowledge and remember their child makes my heart smile. I am truly sorry for your loss send you lots of hope, light, love and happiness for the future.

But I really need to thank you for the inspiration. Every story of loss and heartache I read gives me inspiration to keep going, giving and fighting for awareness and support for a under acknowledged heartache experienced by 1 in 4 families every day. Thank you for sharing your own story of heartache and healing with me. I share my story and my thoughts with you, so you know you are not alone......there is always hope

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mothers Day

Mothers Day will never be the same for me after the loss of my daughter.

It was always a very special day from the moment I was pregnant with my first child Zach. I celebrated Mothers Day and every hope and dream it brought along with it. Cuddles and kisses and breakfast in bed, special paintings and handmade crafts - all of these wonderful moments to look forward to. After years of TTC I was 7 months pregnant on my first Mothers Day and finally a mum.

Most people believe that "The moment a child is born, the mother is also
born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never."

I like a lot of first time mums was told like this quote that I wasn't a mother until my baby was born. But I knew and felt in my heart I was. From the moment those two pink lines show up on that little stick you are a mum! You nuture, care, provide and love your child. Everything that a 'real' mother does. You should be able to celebrate and enjoy the precious child/ren you have growing inside you and the gift of motherhood. You are a mum!

My second Mothers Day was wonderful because my son was old enough to call me mum and I remember him bringing me breakfast in bed, a beautiful card with the outline of his handprint on the back and being smothered in cuddles and kisses. This was to be my last Mothers Day where I wouldnt a shed a river of tears.

My next Mothers Day I was mourning the loss of my daughter.

Mothers Day was only 6 weeks after Yasminah was born. It was incredibly hard and full of emotions and a day I will never forget. I spent part of the day with three generations of mums, my mum, my sister and both of my grandmothers. Most of the time in tears. I then visited Yasminah at the cemetary.

We spent the evening with close friends and their family. I didn't feel like celebrating and I remember having to run out of the room because I didnt want to cry in front of them. This day had just taken on a whole new meaning and become so incredibly hard and painful.

Mothers Day is a day when all mothers should have their children with them. But all over the globe mums miss their children and children miss their mums.

And I miss my daughter.......

Sunday, May 1, 2011

We are Angel Mums

We Are Angel Mums

We have share our tears and our sorrow,

We have given encouragement to each other,

given hope for a brighter tomorrow,

We share the title of Grieving Mother,

Some of us lost older daughters or sons,

Who we watched grow over the years,

Some have lost their babies before theirl lives begun,

But no matter the age, we cry the same tears.

We understand each others pain,

The bond we share is very strong,

With each other there is no need to explain,

The path we walk is hard and long.

Our children brought us together,

They didn't want us on this journey alone,

They knew we needed each other,

To survive the pain of them being gone.

So take my hand my friend,

We may stumble and fall along the way,

But we'll get up and try again,

Because together we can make it day by day.

We can give each other hope,

We'll create a place where we belong,

Together we will find ways to cope,

Because we are Angel Mums and together we are strong!

Judi Walker

This poem is in every Gift Of Hope

Sending special thoughts today to women all around the globe. Wishing you all a gentle, loving, peaceful Mothers Day
To the mums who hold their babies in their hearts I share your tears
To mums with precious babies in your womb or in your arms Happy Mothers Day
Special thoughts are also with children missing their mums in heaven and on Earth