Resignation

From the moment my daughter passed away I made the decision to break the silence, speak about my daughter and share my experience with others in the hope that they wouldn't feel alone.

Grief is such a lonely road. Unless someone has experienced the depth of losing a child they could never possibly understand and even then, everyone’s experience is different and personal to each individual and family.

Today I continue to break the silence, speak my daughter Yasminah’s name and share my personal experiences. I will not be silenced.  I will not let another person’s actions define my future. 

I planned to return from my leave of absence as President of Yasminah's Gift Of Hope but my position became untenable. Last week I have formally advised the NSW Office Of Fair Trading that I have not been involved in any operational capacity for Yasminah's Gift Of Hope since the 23rd November 2013. As of Friday 21st February 2014 I'm no longer the Public Officer. After seeking legal and regulatory advice from this moment forward I will have no further affiliation with Yasminah's Gift Of Hope.

During my absence I have continued to personally offer support to families and was honoured to help deliver two important resources with some very special people for care givers and families to utilise at Royal Prince Alfred Hospital NICU and Westmead Public Hospital NICU.

Lynette Grech and myself delivering the first CuddleTIME Cold Cot to Royal Prince Alfred Hospital NICU Bereavement Room in loving memory of Lynette's son Bodhi Grech. 
Both pregnant with our rainbow babies due a few weeks apart.

Lynette and myself would like to express our deepest gratitude and support to the individuals, families and companies that supported this special gift of time to bereaved families. 

Twin Crib donated in honour of Aisha and Aaliyah Aziz and Isabella and Olivia Ribera 

Little cuties Axel and Ryley Maloney seen her trialing the new cot for the first time!
Very HAPPY!

The beautiful letter I personally received from Westmead Neonatal Intensive Care Unit after my family, along with Nicole and her family delivered the first twin crib the unit has in late November 2013. Together Nicole and I collectively raised $2500 to purchase the Twin Crib in honour of our own twin daughters Aisha and Aaliyah and Isabella and Olivia who were all born prematurely and spent time at Westmead NICU.  

During my involvement over the past 4 years with Yasminah's Gift Of Hope I have been honoured and humbled to receive generous acknowledgements for the support the organisation and it's outstanding volunteers provided including 

• CHILD of the Year Award for Raising Limb Deficiency Awareness
• Bernardos Mother of The Year Nomination 2011
• Australian of the Year Nomination 2011
• Campbelltown City Council International Women's Day Certificate of Appreciation 2012
• First Runner Up Lil' Aussie Prems Foundation Premmie Hero Award 2013

I'm so very grateful to have been afforded the opportunity to share my own personal story several times and help raise awareness alongside the dedicated volunteers via the media including

• Holroyd Sun and Parramatta Sun 
• Brave Discussion 
• Assisting Emma Coles receive treatment overseas 
• Sunday Telegraph Body+Soul
• SIDS and Kids Enigma Magazine
• Radio interviews on 2GB, 2SM and SWR FM 
• Cosmopolitan Pregnancy
• That's Life 
• Scrapbooking Memories

I have also been actively involved with the National Premmie Foundation since May 2011. In that time I have progressed from a general committee member to my current role as the Vice President. During my tenure I have 

• Represented the National Premmie Foundation and each of the member groups including Yasminah's Gift Of Hope at it's first NSW Baby and Children's Expo
• Organised Questacon as the first building to light up purple as part of World Prematurity Day for 2012 and subsequent years
• Established several connections within the media for the National Premmie Foundation and the member groups including radio interviews with SWR FM and publications in Cosmopolitan Pregnancy 

My passion and dedication to raising awareness and providing support to families who have experienced the premature birth or loss of their child has been unwavering. 

I'm extremely proud of the accomplishments of each and every volunteer past and present and the difference that they have made to the lives of many. It has always been a team effort. It's been an absolute honour to work alongside so many passionate members of the community all with the common goal to offer support and make a difference no matter how small. Majority of the volunteers have personally experienced or been touched by pregnancy loss or premature birth. We are all in different places, emotions, seasons, grieving processes, but our hearts were always united to help make this time a little easier for those who are newly bereaved or experiencing the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit or Special Care Nursery. 

Just like the wings of a butterfly cause a ripple in the world, your love, support and commitment has not gone unnoticed and will always, always be remembered. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for dedicating your time, sharing your love and sharing your own personal experiences. 

These are the moments I will remember with love in my heart and tears in my eyes as I end this chapter and embark on a new journey of grief....

Yasminah's 2nd Birthday we held a butterfly release to meet the families we had supported in our first 9 months and send our love to heaven... 

Yasminah's 2nd Birthday Butterfly Release 

The first journals I had personally designed and we provided to bereaved and premmie families featured in the Mother's Day Tribute video

The amazing Annual Scrap For Yaz events held over the past 4 years, including the support from SIDS and Kids QLD. 

 

Delivering gifts to sick and premature infants in memory of my beautiful friend Erin Carmody's ( Former Vice President ) little boy Aiden for the Annual NICU Christmas Appeal 

My personal highlight would be the Yasminah's Gift Of Hope Butterfly Garden Ball. It was a beautiful, emotional evening where we honoured and remembered many of the babies we have lost and the babies born too soon. 

Candle Lighting Ceremony

 

My sincere gratitude and love must also go out to our two incredible ambassadors Haley Bracken and Oscar Chavez. Their personal support, and willingness to open their hearts sharing their own journey's in an effort to help other families is to be commended. 

None of the past 4 years would of ever have been possible without the love, support and encouragement of so many special people. I will always remember your contributions, the letters, the cards, the gifts you lovingly sent me on Yasminah's birthday and your loyal friendship and support. I feel eternally blessed to have shared so many beautiful moments and memories with some truly special people. It's been an honour helping in a small way to make sure that our babies are acknowledged, remembered and loved for a lifetime. 

To my little girl Yasminah, my love for you will always remain, forever and always my baby girl you will be. 

Sending hope, light, love and happiness

Bec x

CuddleTIME Cold Cot

Each day 6 babies across Australia are stillborn. A total of 2000 babies each year.

Most deceased babies, have to be taken to the mortuary within several hours of birth, cutting short the precious time that a bereaved family have together to create memories.

Bodhi Grech was born on the 12th of August and passed away on the 16th of August 2012 Leaving his family heartbroken and shattered. In memory of Bodhi, his mother Lynette Grech with the support of her family and friends began 'For Bodhi' with the aim to give back to the bereavement community in his memory. Over the past year Lynette has fundraised tirelessly in memory of Bodhi for the first CuddleTIME Cold Cot to be donated on behalf of Yasminah's Gift Of Hope in his memory to the hospital where he spent his final days of life. 

Yasminah's Gift Of Hope offers early support to those suffering the loss of a baby during pregnancy or shortly after birth. Yasminah's Gift Of Hope works to prevent potential incidences of depression as a result of the trauma families experience.

The CuddleTIME Cold Cot Project will significantly aid Yasminah's Gift Of Hope support role by allowing us to provide the treasured gift of 'time' to bereaving parents and their families. 

Donated by Yasminah's Gift Of Hope in Memory of Bodhi Grech 12.8.12 - 16.8.12

The CuddleTIME Cold Cots will compliment Yasminah's Gift Of Hope, Gift Of Hope journal support program by extending a families time together to create lasting memories that can be recorded in the journals and kept for a lifetime.

Portable Cold Cots will support caregivers and bereaved families cared for at Royal Prince Alfred Hospital Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. 

• Families will have the opportunity and choice to spend quality time together as a family, whilst creating memories to last a lifetime before saying their final goodbye.

• CuddleTIME Cold Cot will foster greater support for parents by allowing increased involvement of extended family in the grieving process

• Will enable families the choice to take their child home overnight utilising the portable Cold Cot with the support of the hospital

• Creating memories of the deceased child, including interactions such as cuddles, bathing and dressing, have been shown to be very beneficial for a parent's journey through grief

Today two incredible things happened.

I met a beautiful lady I've gotten to know over the past 18 months. Lynette Grech. She was warm, compassionate and we hugged like we'd been friends for years. Time was no barrier. We had both been through something indescribable. The loss of our child. Lynette heartbreakingly said goodbye to her son Bodhi Grech 3 days after saying hello.

Together we delivered the CuddleTIME Cold Cot in memory of her son Bodhi. 

Lynette Grech and myself delivered the CuddleTIME Cold Cot to Royal Prince Alfred Hospital NICU Bereavement Room in loving memory of Lynette's son Bodhi. We are both currently pregnant with our rainbow babies due a few weeks apart.

Love is endless and Bodhi's memory will live on helping many other families spend precious final moments with their child. A love to last a lifetime. Thank you to everyone who supported, donated and helped make the first CuddleTIME Cold Cot possible. 

Let it be

There are some days when I don't know where to begin.

Today is one of those days.

My words may come out all jumbled....a mess.....and probably won't make sense. But it's something I need to write. I need to clear this from my head.

Sometimes holding on feels like the 'right' thing to do. It shows that I have the strength, courage and determination to see things through. But. There is always a 'but' isn't there? Then there are moments. Other moments. Moments like now. When I just feel like I don't have the strength to push through this anymore. That maybe.....just maybe I should let go. And really let go. Let it all go. Let go of all the pain. Let go of the people who keep hurting me. Let go of the negativity. Let go of the drama. Let go of the things that make me sad. Let go of the people who do so little for me control my mind, feelings and emotions . Let go of what is holding me back. Will it hurt to let go? Of course it will hurt to let it go. Letting go is hard! But it could possibly hurt me more holding on. Holding on is harder.

Will I ever be free?

I want to be free.

I want joy.

I want peace.

I want understanding.

I keep hearing the song 'Let it be' by the Beatles. A coincidence or a sign?

I wish that there was someone, anyone who could tell me the correct path to walk down. However I'm really the only one who can answer that question. I have to see the light and make the decision.

A very close and dear friend posted this tonight on her facebook page.

A Community Announcement.: STOP. Remind yourself of who was always there to share your tears, success, laughter, embarrassment and fear, and who'll continue to be there until your days here are done. That 'who' is you. Stop and give yourself a break - you've been through so much with 'You', so cut 'you' some slack - you are your best friend. And if you haven't been told lately, I (and many others) think you're bloody amazing. G'night.