Tuesday, January 29, 2013

For Yasminah

I can't always do it all. I think that I do my very best and always try to do my best to juggle everything that life has to offer me. My dad always taught me to do my best. It didn't matter if I failed, or I made a mistake, as long as I had tried my best that was all that mattered. It isn't always easy, it isn't always magical, amongst the joy and laughter there are tears and sadness too, but I always push on trying to make the best of this life that I have been blessed to be given. Living each day with joy and gratitude. I give back in memory of my daughter, in the hope that it helps ease the pain of another family and that a little piece of Yasminah is remembered and her spirit lives on. Each breath I take, I take knowing my little girl didn't take one. Not one single breath. However she did her very best to stay with us. She did her best. Yasminah has taught me more in her lifetime than I would of ever learned in mine without losing her. I continue to do my best and try to make a difference when I can. I don't always get it right, but I always try.......

The tears have fallen tonight, they haven't stopped. I felt this wave of grief coming after visiting Yasminah yesterday. I just wish I never had to feel like this :( I wish I could tell you all that everything will be OK, but sometimes I don't even believe that myself. Dealing with grief, loss, sadness day in day out takes it toll and I need to often cleanse my own soul, and release the tears to keep doing my very best.

Then tonight I received a message and I wanted to share something a very dear friend is doing for Yasminah. She is doing her best. My friend has remembered Yasminah and has chosen to honour her life, by giving back to the community and an organisation called Heartkids. She is doing something in Yasminah's memory, for Yasminah that makes my heart sing, my eyes overflow with tears and made me more of a blubbering mess than I already was tonight!

Em helped me start Yasminah's Gift Of Hope. She was there for me during my loss, during my rainbow pregnancy, through the weeks that my girls spent in NICU and is still there for me today. She was going through and is still going through her own journey. She is still trying to do her very best despite all the difficulty life as thrown at her. Amongst all of her own struggles she is doing this for Yasminah. How seriously lucky am I to have such beautiful, supportive people in my life! A friend who isn't scared to say her name or talk about her and helps share her story. She is still there for me almost 4 years on. Words can't ever truly explain the gift of having someone you can share your innermost thoughts with or just cry and they don't question any of it. They don't judge you, they are simply there for you, offering a shoulder to lean on, a tissue for when you cry. This is Em. She is a beautiful, young, inspiring young woman and a wonderful role model for her daughter Kenzie. I'm so lucky to call her my friend :)

This is what Em wrote on her fundraising page tonight......

Over the last 4 years I have had the absolute honour to call the Aziz family my friends. I remember the first time I met Rebecca was when Kenzie had just been born and she travelled out to see me whilst glowingly pregnant with her beautiful twins Aisha and Aaliyah. We spoke of our losses, our joys and our daily struggles. Sitting in front of me was a woman of warmth, grace and above all courage. A woman who had farewelled her beautiful angel daughter Yasminah only months before and was already finding ways to help others.

So in the last week I decided upon reflection about congenital heart anomalies..Kenzie and I are not just doing this run for the fun of it. We are not just doing this run to take photos. We are not doing it for ourselves.

We are running "For Yasminah".  
Whether we raise $2.00 or $2,000000 to contribute to research into childhood heart conditions we do not care. All that matters now is that we will do it for her. We cannot bring her back, nor brighten the sadness at her loss...but we can run, skip, jump and dance for her alone.

We will honour you Yasminah.

Our love

Not many people are aware but during Yasminah's pregnancy at one stage it was thought that she may have a CHD, but further tests came back with the all clear. Heartkids is a very deserving organisation. I know that they have helped some of the families we also support so understand the valuable work they are doing and the drive to find a cure for CHD.

I made a donation a few weeks ago on my birthday, but will be donating again and would love to see Em and Kenzie reach their goal of $250 before the Swiss Color Run on February 10, 2013. So please get behind E&K and do it 'For Yasminah'!

To make a donation please visit Em and Kenzie's fundraising page http://www.everydayhero.com.au/hero_pages/view_posts/emily_eyles

Thank you Em from the bottom of my heart. Words can never truly express the depth of my gratitude and how grateful Iam to have you as my friend. Love you always xx

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